Suicide

I wrote the poem "Suicide" on 12/10/14 and 12/15/14.  This poem had lived in me a for a few days or so. I initially resisted writing this poem because I didn't want people to think that I had gone nuts or were suicidal myself. But I should no better to resist. When God wants me to write something it will stay inside me until I write it down!  When I finally started writing this poem, it was like the flood gates opened and the words came rushing out!  I know God has a reason for me to write this poem. If this poem can help bless anybody in any way then it has done it's job!

I am not suicidal. But I do know what it's like to feel like to want to die. In 2004, I had a deep depression. It got so bad that at my lowest point I laid face down flat on the floor and begged God to kill me. I wasn't thinking about how my death would effect my family and friends.  I was only wanting my pain to go away.  After a little while of me belly aching, God spoke to me (in His still small voice) and told me to "get up and go do something".  So I got up and drove to the Mall of America and walked the mall.  While walking the mall, the pain went away a little even though I was still depressed. But atleast I didn't feel like that I wanted to die.  Eventually, my doctor found the right medication and I have been right as rain for years now!

Going through that experience  made me realize that it is possible for a born-again Christian to want to commit suicide.  It is even possible for a Christian to commit suicide if they take their eyes off of Christ and concentrate on their current situation.  I believe the majority of Christian people commits suicide because they either want their pain to stop or they have bought into Satan's lie that they are not worth much and that life isn't worth living anymore.  What happens to such people after they die? They still go to Heaven since once a person is saved, he or she is always saved. But they will lose rewards because suicide is a sin.

If you are depressed and are thinking about suicide, please don't hesitate to get help!  It doesn't matter what other people think of you! It matters what God thinks. And God desires you to live and get help in times that you don't feel like living! Go to a pastor, counselor, psychiatrist, family or friend!  Just get help somewhere!  Because I can tell you the pain will go away with the right treatment and counsel! So go get help! You won't regret it!

If you want prayer, leave a prayer request in the comments and I'd be happy to pray for you!

May God bless you greatly!

Enjoy the poem "Suicide"

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Suicide
by: Pastor Jerry S.
(c)2015

God's love is as
Deep as it is wide
His love will never leave me
Even if I commit...
Suicide

Darkness is surrounding me
Drowning out any and all light
For me to see
I don't know why
I feel this way
All I know is...
I cannot see the light of day
Nor any way out of this mess
I need to escape from the stress

If I end it all here
Do I have anything to fear?

I have experienced the second birth
I know I 'll go to Heaven
After I leave this Earth
There's no such thing as
An unforgivable sin
For Jesus is my best friend

God's love for me is
As deep as it is wide
His love will never leave me
Even if I commit...
Suicide

Some people say...
If you're a true Christian
Suicidal words you'll never speak
But they have forgotten that
Jesus said:
"The spirit is willing...
But the flesh is weak."

My Spirit is willing to live
But my flesh no longer has the strength to try
My soul longs to be at rest
To this world I want to say...
Good-bye

With my soul
It is well
I know if I take this life
I won't wind up in Hell

God's love for me
Is as deep as it is wide
His love will never leave me
Even if I commit...
Suicide

Even if this turns out
To be a mistake
I know in Jesus' arms
I will wake

Even if then I realize
I fell to my treacherous pride
I know Jesus' grace
Will erase
The guilt and shame from
My act of suicide

After all this thinking
After all this wailing
God's sweet still small voice
To my soul starts telling:

"All that you have thought
Yes, it is true.
Even if you take your life
I will forgive you

But I encourage you
To hold on to the
Last thread of hope
For your life hasn't reached
The end of its rope

If you continue to
Believe in My Love
And trust the Spirit
To be your Guide
Joy will begin to grow
You will experience a peace
That's as deep as it is wide
Then you'll realize
There's no need for you
To commit...
Suicide"